Idinaan sa sulat ng isang 22-anyos na estudyante mula sa Igbaras, Iloilo ang kanyang pasasalamat sa inang sumuporta sa kanyang pag-aaral sa pamamagitan ng pangungutang ng pera.
Photo credit: Kleesa Fe Esmores
Si Kleesa Fe Esmores ay magtatapos bilang magna cum laude sa West Visayas State University sa kursong Bachelor of Secondary Education degree in English.
Sa kanyang Facebook post, ibinahagi ni Klessa ang ilang pinagdaanan sa kanyang pag-aaral.
"I held nursing for 13 years inside my heart just to let go of it because we cannot afford it. [...] I had to convince my mom that I had to be in a nursing degree. However, she repeatedly rejected that proposal. We were financially unstable at that time, and she had to pay a sum of money she borrowed from several people," saad ni Klessa.
Aniya, may isang pagkakataon na talaga winasak ang puso niya nang marinig na minumura ang kanyang ina dahil hindi ito nakapagbayad sa tamang oras.
Ngunit hindi rin niya ito masisisi dahil mag-isa lamang itong nagpalaki at nag-alaga sa kanilag lahat.
"There was a time when I heard someone cursing her in a phone call because she [could not] pay on time. I died that day. [...] However, there was never a time when I [blamed] my mother [as] she fought for us all alone. I know she was also [heartbroken] seeing me [unable] to live my dreams," dagdag nito.
Kaya naman iniaalay ni Kleesa ang kanyang tagumpay sa kanyang pinakamamahal na ina.
"I never lose all the colors, Ma. I will still be your quintessential starving dreamer. One day, no one in our family will have to heal from daunting traumas. Let's end it here. I am proud of you, and congratulations, Ma!"
Narito ang kanyang buong post:
"Ang Unang Magna Cum Laude ng Isang Inang Mangungutang
(The First Magna Cum Laude of a Debtor)
On the bustling street of La Paz, we were jammed in a jeepney when my mom first introduced to me the West Visayas State University where she studied Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in English. It was the student nurses who were entering the university whom I first noticed because they were wearing white uniforms. Out of innocence, I asked my mother if what they do and she simply answered “They save lives.” It was that one ordinary day when a dream from a six-year-old Kleesa sparked.
At a young age, maybe I was the only kid who was not afraid of going to a medical center or clinic to get my butt shot with a syringe. I could still remember that whenever the results of the nursing board exam would come out, I would listen to the announcement on our radio. I was an ardent fan of these people in white, I burn for them. 13 years later, I blamed the world for giving me a dream that I cannot fulfill. I held nursing for 13 years inside my heart just to let go of it because we cannot afford it. It was before taking our WVSU-CAT that I had to convince my mom that I had to be in a nursing degree however she repeatedly rejected that proposal. We were financially unstable at that time and she had to pay a sum of money she borrowed from several people. It was when the will and love to continue were no longer found in my nerves but I had no choice. I am the panganay, I have to be practical. I have to think of my siblings so they will not experience the same brokenness. I have to continue so that it will end with me, the curse of not being able to pursue something that I love. If I have to heal from this then they don’t have to. I will let them live their dreams.
I entered the crowd of the BSED English freshmen students, I wondered if there was anyone like me who has a different dream. Like an ex-lover, whenever I looked at the nursing students in the cafeteria, walking on the bench, studying in the library, and having lunch in the mini forest, there will always be a glimpse of my first dream. At first, I thought that my number one enemy was the fading motivation I had for myself but it was the financial status we were in. People in our town would say it was easy for my mom since I will be studying in college without having her pay for my tuition but it was not. I saw her leaving our house at 4 in the morning to borrow money so she could give my full allowance for a week because she did not want me to worry about anything in the city. When we had our small wins like having good grades, we would celebrate in secret. We could not post our simple dinners on social media because people might criticize us for having the audacity to eat outside despite our debts. We were five in the family and she raises us all alone without generational wealth, no back-up money, and no strong connections. There was a time when I heard someone cursing her in a phone call because she did not able to pay on time. I died that day. I admit, I would envy children who live in privileged families, all they have to do is to live their dreams and passion meanwhile here we were adding more water to our one pack of noodles so that everyone can eat. However, there was never a time when I blame my mother, she fought for us all alone. I know she was also broken seeing me not being able to live my dreams. I thank all the people who lend her money before so we could survive those dark days. So please, at least this time let me post this one colossal win of my mom because of her pangungutang.
I never lose all the colors Ma, I will still be your quintessential starving dreamer. One day, no one in our family will have to heal from daunting traumas. Let’s end it here. I am proud of you and congratulations Ma!
Your Magna Cum Laude."
***
Source: Kleesa Fe Esmores | Facebook
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